So back to what I asked, "Why do I eat?" Most people eat because they are hungry and they want to fuel their bodies. That is part of it, I mean I do get hungry but I have never ate to fuel my body. Think about those words for a minute, "FUEL YOUR BODY" Oh, you mean there is a purpose for eating????? Imagine that! As I have talked about before, I grew up with little to no nutrition advice, our family ate what we could afford, fruits & vegetables were only when we visited certain relatives or friends, ask any of my family, I grew up on macaroni & cheese with fish sticks (and not the name brand OH NO!) I remember as a kid wanting the Kraft brand cause their noodles were curved and we always got the generic AND our fish sticks were FLAT, not round like the Gorton's brand. LOL The things we recall huh?
I even remember my father at the end of the table, his 4 daughters (under 10 yrs old) around the table and him not eating, why? He was waiting to make sure we all got enough to eat before he would eat. So when dinner was there, you ate all that you were given till you were full. Going to grandma's house was a treat 'cause she always had 'the good food'. I won't go into all the yummies that grandma had, but you all know how it is. Mine always had name brand foods and THAT was great! So many of my childhood memories were about food. Those things shape us and we don't even know it at the time.
Jump just 31 years in the future to today (yes that gives away my age for those of you who want to do the math) and I struggle EVERY DAY with food.
......and yet I LOVE it at the same time. A LOVE / HATE relationship with anything can be deadly and I feel that is where I am. I am at a point that if I don't mend my relationship with food soon, it could lead to death, or a version of life that is so unpleasant that I don't want to live.
So....WHY do I eat? I eat for every other reason EXCEPT for being hungry. Those of you who don't struggle with any sort of eating issue are like "Huh...what do you mean eating doesn't have to do with hunger....of course it does." Well guess what......there are many of us out here that struggle every day with food and WISH we didn't!
So then, what are my reasons for eating, I made a list..... (in no particular order)
- Let Down
- Pissed Off! (sorry to use that word but it happens)
- Feeling left out